Welcome to part 2 of my online dating advice blog about Self Love. In Part 1 I explained about my client who asked me about how to love and respect herself, so it didn’t affect her thinking about men in a negative way. You can read Part 1 here if you missed it.
Here is a simple exercise by online dating advice: Go and write down what you used to do as a child that you loved to do.
I can guarantee you may not be doing half of those things anymore, and maybe you have other things that you prefer to do as an adult and I wonder how often are you doing the things you truly love during your week? If you want to meet someone, someone who is like minded, it makes sense to go to places where you can meet like-minded people.
So my next bit of online dating advice leads nicely onto, what’s your social life like?
Do you go straight home from work and just sit at home watching TV even if they are some of your favourite shows, hanging out by and with yourself – or perhaps with your housemates – the same ole same ole routine that does nothing about changing your single relationship status? Is that what you spend a lot of your time doing or are you actually being sociable meeting NEW people regularly? Perhaps attending groups found on Meetup.com for example, which is a great place to meet like minded people.
The advice that I offer my clients and the online dating advice that I’m suggesting to you too, is to join groups that challenge you to meet and connect with others in person, whether it’s a topic that you’re passionate about or on a topic that you know nothing about but are curious to learn and explore and just try out, because sometimes, it’s good to meet people that are doing things that you wouldn’t usually do because it’s good to get out of your comfort zone sometimes, which will challenge your mind in new ways thereby keeping you mentally fit and young and curious about life – all qualities that are attractive.
That’s just some of the online dating advice I would highly recommend because it’s good to play and experiment in your life because your self-esteem will grow as a consequence of stepping outside of your comfort zone. One thing I know is, is that if you’re still single, (which I would guess given that you’re reading this article and this is about dating), then what I know is – is that what you want is just outside of your comfort zone. If it wasn’t, then you would have what you want already.
Therefore by doing things you like, as well as doing things that are just outside of the norm for you, is a form of self love because it says that you’re willing to take risks, that you value yourself enough to challenge yourself, to be open to new ideas – telling your subconscious mind that you’re safe which is an extremely powerful message to give yourself. As a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, I know the messages that you give yourself are essential. Not only do good feeling surge more powerfully within you, but all these new explorations make you a more interesting and a stimulating exciting partner for another. Thereby making you stand out from others, also bringing a new energy to your life. So, my advice isn’t just about suggesting what you can do to meet someone or understanding men, but also about loving yourself just that little bit more than you’re doing right now.
Just one final tip in this online dating advice that will help you generate good feeling: Is there someone in your life, maybe it’s even someone well known, who you admire? Think about that person right now. Imagine all the qualities they have. Think of at least three qualities – three things that you admire and like about them. When you imagine them and those qualities, don’t you feel good too?
This is a simple way to generate good feeling within yourself and you want to feel good about yourself right don’t you? Furthermore, feeling those good feelings could inspire you just to feel good for absolutely no reason at all! Or/and these good feelings could even inspire you to try something new that perhaps you hadn’t felt confident to try before, because you didn’t feel good enough, but with all these good feelings, you now feel good enough to give it a go. Seriously, this is such good online dating advice that isn’t solely focused on ‘getting the guy’ because you want more than that to live a fulfilled and happy life – a life that not only attracts that special guy but also keeps him – a life that any healthy emotionally mature man would want to be a part of.
So, take this online dating advice and think of something that you haven’t as yet had the confidence to try. You know that something that you’ve been holding yourself back in some way. Could you try for yourself to create more of a life that you want, feeling the good feelings that you feel when you think of the qualities you admire in others?
Maybe there’s something that you really want to go for and you don’t feel confident but when you think of that person you just get to feel: “Oh they’re so amazing, I’d love to be like that” and feeling that energy just inspires you. It just makes you excited about life. Imagine living a life filled with those good feelings, imagine fantasizing about something that you really want and having that good positive energy about it and going for it.
If you’ve been struggling to feel connected and love for yourself, then I really want you to think of something you love, and do it! Do it for you. Do it just because!
Please leave a comment below to let me know how it goes, tell me what you’ve done, tell me an awareness that’s comes to your mind. Your suggestions and outlook helps other women just like you who also want good solid dating tips for women.
Contact me for support, and please feel free to suggest what you would like me to cover in more online dating advice blogs, but for now, I wish you well and I want you to find love and stay in love.
A woman wrote to me recently, a single woman, and she asked me how she could improve her self-love because she realised that it was affecting how she was relating to men in a negative way.
Therefore I thought that this topic would be useful to share in a blog about online dating advice because she was right: How we feel about ourselves heavily affects how we feel whether alone, whilst dating and when in a relationship.
In this online dating advice, I will share with you some things that I’ve done myself in my past that have helped both me and my clients get to the place where I’m at now today – free from the anxiety that I used to be plagued by. After coaching with me, they always leave feeling a deeper sense of love for themselves – removing that negative and replacing it with that something that has been missing in their life that which before they had wanted a man to fulfil.
One of the key things I ask my clients is:
Are you doing or are you having a life that truly lights you up?
There’s an interview with one of the Apple founders, Steve Jobs, and I don’t remember the exact quote, but he was saying something poignant like: If this were to be the last day of your life, would you be doing what you’re doing today?” By the way, I don’t want you to feel sad, I actually want you to think: “Well, if today was the last day of my life, would I be doing what I’m doing now?” And really think about it. Do you like your job? Do you like your friends? Are you mixing with the right people? Think about it! Have you been to the places you’d like to go to? Well, whatever it is for you, if this were that last day of your life, what would you be doing differently?
I genuinely want you to be successful in your dating life, so that’s why this online dating advice is stressing the importance of living a life filled with joy. It’s so important to do things that genuinely light you up, that fill you with joy, that fulfils you because when you feel good, then you will not only feel better within yourself, but you also will become even more attractive to men. Men want to be with happy women.
When you feel fulfilled in your vocation, (that’s what some call having a life purpose) that your energy field changes and your vibe changes. You feel so much better about yourself that you’re then attracted to guys with whom you feel good with. Furthermore, quality guys want to be with quality women who they can feel good with.
That’s why I like to keep it simple, and focus on suggesting that you do the things that you truly and wholeheartedly love – things that satisfy and are nurturing to you. This is NOT about doing things that you think you ‘should’ do, but what you personally love to do – doing that which makes your heart sing and just makes you feel good about yourself.
Maybe for you it would mean taking some time out. It could be as simple as having a hot bubble bath or taking a massage or going for a walk in nature. So, what is it that you love to do? Please listen to this online dating advice! Discover the things that you like to do because I know how busy we can get in this modern world and we can get so caught up on our smart phones, swiping, messaging, Facebook, taking selfies, and being on our laptops or iPad/tablet. But we forget sometimes how important it is to nurture ourselves and that’s one of the key teachings of loving yourself fearlessly, that’s why I give when any single woman who comes to see me, who is struggling to love themselves, this key advice because oftentimes they think it’s about just doing stuff or keeping busy. It isn’t.
I also ask my clients what are you doing that’s kind to them to do?
I know that might seem like an odd question to ask, and they often look at me a bit confused. I don’t mean what kindness are you doing for others, but what are you doing to give you back some loving? What would that look like? Just look back on your last week, ask yourself: ‘What have you done that’s been nice and kind to you?’ Maybe it’s having a lie in bed; maybe you have to get up really early every morning, so maybe on Sunday you decide: ‘I’m going to have a lie in and I’m going to spend the whole day in bed, read my favourite book, watch a bit of Netflix’ or whatever feels good for you. I always like to suggest, within this context, doing something preferably that’s indulgent or fun or silly. You know, like something you used to do as a child, like buying and eating an ice cream bought from the ice cream man. What fun things did you used to do as a child?
Are you doing nurturing and relaxing things for you that make you feel happy?
You want to meet a man who values you and respects you right? Which is the reason why I asked that same woman who asked me how can she love herself: ‘Are YOU valuing yourself and are YOU respecting yourself’?
Again, she looked at me puzzled, but it made her think because finding true love starts with you first. When you value yourself you’ll only want to be with people, including men, who value you too. He can only love you as much as you love yourself. That’s how it works. That’s how your self-esteem can grow. That’s how your confidence in yourself grows. When you take the time to do things than genuinely make you feel happy within your own skin, then you say very clearly to yourself that you’re valuing yourself whether you’re single or in a relationship.
An indication of how much you’re valuing you, or an indication of how you see yourself, is to take a look at the people you hang out with. It’s said that you’re as successful as the five people closest around you.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Rohn
Now, I wouldn’t want you to think that this I am suggesting you to be critical of your friends at all – this is a simply an exercise that will demonstrate to you to see and evaluate how much you’re being influenced by those around you – and they WILL influence you in how you think, how you feel and how you behave. In effect, they will be mirroring back to you how you really see yourself at a core level and it will be a struggle to break out of having that particular mindset whilst remaining in the same circle.
So, who are you spending your time with?
Are you spending your time with ‘Moaning Minnie’ who’s whinging and complaining about her relationships all the time and how bad men are? If so, and you join in on male bashing, then that can possibly influence you and eventually negatively colour your mind even further in how you see men, which will affect how successful you are with men.
If you’re looking to be in a relationship then please be around girl friends who are positive, and who maybe also wanting to be in a relationship too – women you can go out and have fun together with.
The above can be a tough process to do. I know because I did this for myself, and I ask it of my clients too and I am also asking this of you in this online dating advice: ‘Who are you saying yes to and who are you saying no to’? You might look around at the closest people in your life and think, actually, I prefer to spend my time with people that I get to feel good with. And why not?! You only have one life. This is it!
If this were to be your last day, what would you be doing and with whom would you be doing it with?
Have a think, and contact me if you need any help or more online dating advice about meeting like minded people. Join me for Part 2, where I share some exercises for thinking further about how to love yourself when you are single.
Tell me if this bit of online relationship advice is true or not. You’ve fantasized and romanticized your future with this guy – you’ve seen yourself marrying him – you’ve seen yourself having his children – you’ve seen your happy-ever-after with him – so in your heart and mind – it has to be him, and you’re willing to put aside the ‘Red Flags’, knowing that he isn’t actually really into you, in the hope of ‘getting him’.. It’s no longer a want. It becomes a ‘need’. To some of you this can feel like life or death situation. It can feel that over whelming, intoxicating and suffocating.
This brings up an interesting question: What is love? There have been countless books written, philosophies discussed, songs sang, poetry scrawled– all musing on the ideas of love, all of which are beyond the remit of this blog.
Still, to keep it simple, and to keep it relevant to the topic at hand, in your opinion, can you tell the difference between ‘chemistry’ and ‘love’?
Some say that true real love develops over time, but people do also say that there’s love at first sight.
Regardless, I want you to be aware of when you’re feeling that intense chemistry and you call it love, because that’s typically another word I hear my clients say: “It must be love because I’m feeling so much ‘chemistry’” and ‘passion’ and they, like you, want to continue to feel this chemistry. Yet, at the same time, you feel miserable because you know that you’re not or certainly don’t feel as if you’re in a committed relationship with him although you desperately want to in one with him even though you feel out of control with your emotions.
Let me tell you a quick story in this online relationship advice, of a scenario of where this has happened to a girlfriend of mine: She was having incredible off the charts orgasmic sex and things were great at the beginning with this guy but he stopped working, and since then he’s been drinking more, hasn’t gotten another job yet, smoking lots of weed, was very vague about his whereabouts. He would also put her down in subtle ways. He started to say things like: “It’s difficult to find a woman who’s a ‘number 10, I wish you were a 10!” Yes, seriously- that’s exactly the type of things that he would say to her. They’ve been casually dating for five months and that’s what he said to her. In her mind, they were in a relationship. In his, he wasn’t.
She got upset of course, but then he would back track and say: “It’s only a joke” and “Can’t you take a joke?” Ladies, please listen to this online relationship advice: You know something isn’t quite right especially when someone is subtly putting you down, which is called a ‘backhanded criticism’ – which means that it’s a criticism delivered via the backdoor. That way, it can make it seem that it’s you who has the problem and not him in this situation.
So that’s a reason why you can feel good because you’re getting those juicy love hormones – the feel good hormones – (the oxytocin that I mentioned earlier from having great orgasmic sex), or with some of you who haven’t even slept with him yet – you have the fantasy romance etched into your brain – which is an extremely powerful drug – so compelling that it hooks you in and keeps you addicted to him, so much so, that you often fail to realize that the other side of things just aren’t right, in fact, are often mismatched or fundamentally wrong.
Sadly, she ignored the online relationship advice and she didn’t want to leave him – she always kept on saying; “Maybe he’ll change”, and consequentially remained in denial: “There’s definitely no other woman”, “he’s just going through a rough patch”, yet she would ignore that they were incompatible when it came to what they both wanted for their romantic future; maybe this is you too? Maybe you two really don’t have the same shared values?
Now, in this online relationship advice, it begs the question: Why did you get together with this guy in the first place?
One thing I’ve noticed having a background in psychology and being a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and giving so much online relationship advice, is that I discovered that deep in the depths of your subconscious mind that there’s a base of insecurity – that on some level – you believe that you’re not good enough. That you believe something is wrong with you, and your idea of love is messy and complicated, and filled with confusion and drama, because your version of love is just that. It’s what you know. It’s what’s familiar to you.
Often times, in fact, more often than not, it’s related to your history, it’s related to your relationship with your primary caregivers as a child. If this is you, if you’re reading this right now, and you’re going through this situation, then I’m here to tell you in this online relationship advice, that there’s help for you. I’ve been there, I’ve struggled, that’s why I do what I do because I don’t want you to go through the same emotional pain that I’ve gone through. I can help because I understand.
If I can go through that and come out on the other side, if I can help my clients go through that and come out on the other side and get into great relationships, then I can help you too. This is why I’m here. I care enough to get results. I care enough to give you online relationship advice for free.
If you’re in a situation with a man that isn’t making you happy, then please contact me: send me an email to get to see how I can help you. But in the meantime – do this simple exercise.
Get a piece of paper – do that now, or even write on your notes in your phone. I want you to write down the pros and the cons of this relationship because you want to get it clear in your mind of a solution for this predicament, and an easy way to do that, is to have things written down clearly so you can look at things from a more rational elevated objective view point so that you can stop seeking online relationship advice and make real changes to your love life and get the love life you deserve.
On one side write down the pros of this relationship and ask yourself – what am I getting out of this? On the other side write the cons. Compare the two. Is it 50/50? Are there more cons than pros? Is it the other way around? Just see. And then decide what you need to do about it.
Perhaps it requires a conversation. Maybe it means you leave the guy. Listen, I know that can be incredibly difficult, especially if what you want is to be in a relationship, and have a future and possibly children with him. Again, I’m here to help, so if you want more than online relationship advice, then please contact me, but for now I wish you well, I want you to find love and stay in love.
If you missed part 1 of my blog of this series, you can find it here
If you’re looking for online relationship advice, then you’re in the right place.
How can you be in a relationship with a guy, like him so much, so intensely, so passionately, and feel bad about yourself at the same time? Want to know the answer? Then continue reading this online relationship advice for women who are struggling in their love life.
My name is Andrea and I’m the Fearless Love Coach for single women looking for love and I offer online relationship advice and dating tips for women. One of my ladies came to me with the question, wanting to know; “How could you like someone so much and feel bad at the same time”? She asked because she couldn’t understand how she could feel such intense desire for this one guy she was ‘seeing’, yet emotionally, she felt an absolute mess – filled with anxiety and insecurities. In fact, the more she saw him, the more she spiralled downwards into anxiety and her emotional and mental health suffered greatly.
You see, she was dating this guy for around three months or so and she had the most incredible over the top off the charts exciting, magic filled boombastic orgasmic sex! It just blew her mind! But at the same time, he said he wasn’t fully committed to her because he was seeing other women. She didn’t feel valued. She didn’t feel truly loved by him. She knew she wasn’t his one and only – that she wasn’t that special to him, despite his protestations claiming otherwise which is why she felt bad even though she liked him.
Interestingly, I notice similar scenarios – similar patterns of behaviour – with the majority of single women who come to see me, which is why I’m offering online relationship advice and dating tips for women so other women who might be in a similar situation can be helped too. What I’ve noticed is: is that there is always one guy floating in the background who hasn’t fully committed to you, and yet you, just like these women I suspect, feel an intense desire for this seemingly ‘unavailable man’, who makes you feel amazing sexually or even if you haven’t even slept with him yet, very connected to him, but emotionally provides you very little else other than a roller coaster ride of emotions.
“A woman cannot relax into a relationship with a man unless she feels safe with him”
A woman cannot feel safe with a man who is not fully committed to her. In those situations, she becomes emotionally unstable and oftentimes filled with anxiety, fear and emotional turmoil as she longs to be bonded with him for the long term.
Through the many years that I’ve been offering online relationship advice and dating tips for women, many of the women who come to me are feeling very confused in emotional terms and also suffer from low self-esteem and lacking in self worth. The common things I’ve found is that they’re really into a guy, but not just into him – it’s like they’re addicted to him and in many ways feel out of control with their emotions. To some, it can even be termed as a ‘toxic relationship’ of ‘Cocaine Love’.
Have you ever felt that way?
That there is a guy you just can’t get out of your head? It feels like he’s crack cocaine to you. Highly addictive, makes you feel a ridiculous momentary high and debilitating and destroying you both at the same time.
You may not know this but when you as a woman experience not just great sex, but orgasmic sex – when you actually have an orgasm when having sex with him, your body releases a chemical called oxytocin which emotionally bonds you to that guy! You can actually feel physical withdrawal symptoms when he’s not around you. When that happens, your feelings for him intensify. You might even believe it’s love that you’re feeling for him which is why this online relationship advice is so important to listen to for the sake of your own emotional health.
Seriously, that hormone is so powerful, so intoxicating, that it can make you think that you love him. It’s such an intense and overwhelming powerful feeling that even if he isn’t compatible with you in other ways (which I’ll talk to you about in a moment), then you’ll still feel very intensely attracted to him because your love drug has been switched on and you will see him as a ‘love dealer’; that he has pockets full of love that you want and ‘need’ and that you feel you must get solely from him and from him only.
This is the exact same situation that one of my clients was going through when we started coaching together, in fact, I’ve been through this myself in the past, so I know what the emotional rollercoaster can feel like, which is why I’m offering this online relationship advice.
So if you’re in one of those situations where you feel this intense attraction towards a guy and you don’t want to let him go either then here’s why. Listen to this bit of online relationship advice, because part of the reason why you don’t want to let him go is that you’re fixed on the idea that you want to have a future with him – in fact – it’s more than a want, in your mind it’s that you ‘must’ have a future with him and see yourself having a future with him and it’s a compelling exciting all consuming happy ever after future with him but because he isn’t fully committed to you, then it makes sense why you feel both good and bad at the same time.
Undoubtedly I bet you’ve asked him or certainly wish to ask him the question: “Where is this relationship going?”
That question is what I’ve found to be a typical question that my clients have asked the guy that they’re into. The reason why these women have asked that particular question, is because like you, you’re feeling unstable, you’re feeling insecure, you know that you’re not in a committed relationship and/or that this man is ‘unavailable’ to you in some way and you want to close that gap – which assumes that he’s the one in charge of the direction of the relationship which is why this online relationship advice is of such great value because I’m here to tell you something else.
What you might be failing or struggling to see, is that you have the power within you to navigate how successful or where the relationship can lead or is going but you cannot see that when you believe that he is the one who has all the control and power.
You see, what I’ve discovered after years of giving online relationship advice, is that women in these types of ‘not fully committed’ relationships are not feeling safe because when you’re in a committed relationship -when you’ve had ‘The Talk’, when something obvious and substantial has clearly been put on the table and he has declared AND acted upon his intentions towards you, then you as the woman will feel safe and secure with him. When that isn’t happening, you can become confused, you can feel upset, you might then start to call your girlfriends more frequently feeling a need to talk through your ‘situation’ with them; you might start talking more with him wanting to know where you stand; some of you might be getting angry about it or even more anxious. You might be feeling very emotionally off balance. As you result, some of you might even shut down and close yourself off and not even venture into having any discussion with him.
I’ll go more into why in part 2….
After your first or second date he says: “We should maybe meet up again sometime soon”, and then you hear nothing from him for days or weeks if at all and you feel confused.
Does this sound familiar?
You’ve been hanging by your phone waiting.
Still believing that he’s going to call you and ask you out on another real date.
Ladies, if that’s you, I hate to break the news to you, but the chances of him calling you again to arrange another real date with you are slim to none. The longer it’s left, the less likely it’s going to happen.
IF he does actually contact you again, it will most likely be because he’s got some free time to kill, he’s bored, he’s feeling lonely, his girlfriend has just dumped him, and he remembered you and thought, why not, worth a shot. On the outset – and this is rare indeed, perhaps when you two were initially getting together, it just wasn’t the best time for him. However, I have rarely seen this happen that after disappearing for months – that he comes back suddenly in love simply after you’ve been on one or two dates.
If he wasn’t feeling it on the first date…or perhaps he wasn’t so sure so gave it another date, then you won’t be hearing from him again UNLESS, like I said above, he’s looking to get some fast uncomplicated casual sex or casual chat.
Listen, I don’t want you waiting around endlessly for some guy to call you who was clearly lacking in enthusiasm in the first place. The ‘maybe’, ‘sometime’ ‘soon’ are obvious giveaways as to the level of his attraction towards you.
Yeah, sure, there are some guys out there of course who can be shy and are therefore not so forward in asking out a girl directly and will use the type of phrasing mentioned above.
BUT, I’ve seen those same shy guys step up and get clear and be confident when they’ve felt on a gut level an intense attraction for a girl. That no matter how it feels for him on the inside, that no matter how gut wrenchingly painful it might be for him if he thinks you’re going to reject him – that if he knows he’s going to lose you, he’s going to pluck up the courage and make it clear that he wants to see you again.
And he will follow through.
There will be no vagueness.
There will be no confusion.
It will be crystal clear.
So, if you’re feeling angry or upset because he hasn’t called you yet.
Or you feel disappointed.
Or you’re still waiting by the phone and even temped to call him.
Because feeling that way only hurts you and you have much better things to do with your precious time….
I don’t want you to become jaded about love because finding love can be difficult sometimes in our modern high tech world, but it doesn’t have to be. If you become jaded, then you’re more likely to mistrust men, shut down and isolate yourself, and as a consequence remain single for a very long time – which is the exact opposite of what you want right?
However, when you’re able to move past these disappointments quickly, and tell yourself that all these Mr Wrongs are taking you one step closer to your Mr Right, then you’ll remain feeling good and positive about yourself, and be happy to continue dating – which is exactly what you need to do to Attract Your Mr Right.
So if you’ve been feeling let down by yet another guy who said he was going to call but didn’t, then just remember, that if he’s being vague with you when it comes to meeting up again – OR even if he blatantly said he was going to call you again but didn’t, then, in his way, he was being polite and was trying to let you down gently, and didn’t want to hurt your feelings to your face by saying that he didn’t want to see you again.
The best thing to do is put it down to experience, and remember that you’re going to come across Mr Wrongs, to get to your Mr Right and it’s all part of your journey to love.
Trust and believe in yourself and never give up on love.
If this is something that you’re struggling with, then contact me. I’m here to help you find love.
Ladies, if you want a clear sign to know whether he is into you or not, then you’ll know by the level of investment he is making to be with you.
I see so many single women feeling confused & frustrated, endlessly talking about their relationship dramas with their girlfriends, analysing every single minute detail because the constant swirling in your head is:
Does he love me or not? Check out this FREE ebook: ‘Why Do Men Pull Away’.
As a result, you’ll be watching his every move and paying attention to his every gesture because you want to see ‘proof’ of his love for you. The problem with this however sometimes, is if you can be prone to being a little paranoid at times, or have intense feelings of insecurity or jealousy, what you see has the potential to be clouded by your fears. In saying that, there are signs to look out for to discover whether he is really into you or not.
So, if you’re going to do that, then below are some signs for you to pay closer attention too because if you really want to know how deeply he is ‘into’ you then you need to have a clear strategy of signs to look for so that you can make a more informed decision as to an entirely emotional one.
Let me break it down for you and keep it simple.
Sign #1: How often is he spending time with you? And has there been an increase in him wanting to spend time with you?
When a guy is getting more and more into you, he will want to see you more often. OR at least, he will most certainly be touching base with you at those times that you’re a part, because he will want to let you know that you’re someone special to him but more importantly, because he’s feeling an emotional connection towards you, so he will naturally feel compelled to remain in close connection with you.
Sign #2: How consistent is he? Or is it that you don’t know when you’ll see him from one moment to the next?
What you want to see is consistency in his contact with you. If you find yourself waiting around a lot, unsure if or when you’re going to hear from him, then that’s not a good sign. If at the beginning he’s in regular contact on a fairly consistent basis, then you start to notice it becoming less frequent the longer you two are together, then that definitely isn’t a good sign, and would suggest that he’s pulling away from you as his attention is going elsewhere. Does he keep in regular contact with you? Touching base with you in between the times you don’t see each other is a great sign of a guy who is thinking about you.
Sign #3: Does he call you ‘last minute’ to hook up & hang out and often involves sex?
Listen, this doesn’t always have to mean at night time. Does he contact you last minute in the day times – asking you if you’re free to hang out. Hey, he might even be offering you a great time out somewhere, where you’ll get the chance of getting all dolled up and made to feel special. BUT, if he does this THEN gets busy doing other things, this would suggest that he isn’t that into you, but had some spare tickets, perhaps one of his other girls cancelled on him, and he then thought of you.
I’ve seen this happen before with one of my clients. A guy she REALLY liked, after being inconsistent with his contact with her, called her up on a Friday, and asked her if she fancied a weekend trip to London, all expenses paid – hotel, dinner, and everything – to see Cirque de Soleil. She said yes of course and was ecstatically happy.
However, that happiness didn’t last for long, when he told her, at the expensive hotel, after eating a wonderful meal, that his favourite girl couldn’t go with him, so he called round to see who else was free to go instead.
Sign #4: Does he often get busy with friends or work when you want to see him?
Have you noticed that he seems to be up for all sorts of plans BUT when you actually come to make those plans, he then gets busy and always has something else going on that he can’t get out of? OR he will commit to those plans then on the night before or on the day, he cancels on you and tells you that something has ‘just come up.? He might even tell you this dramatic story of someone being ill, or gotten hurt – something that would make it impossible for you to get angry or upset at him for? Of course terrible things happen to people all the time. So I don’t want you to be paranoid. However, I do want you to be mindful of how often something else comes up and how frequently he does this. Especially when you take into account the other signs as mentioned above and below.
• Sign # 5: Has he introduced you to his friends?
Now this is an interesting one because just because he has introduced you to his friends doesn’t necessarily mean that you are something serious to him, however, if he NEVER or doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends, then that’s a definite bad sign.
Sign #6: Do you two always ‘Go Dutch’?
In our modern world of gender equality, the whole ‘who pays for what’ has gotten all mixed up and confusing. The rules of the game are no longer as clear as they have been in the past. However, what hasn’t changed, is that when a man wants to demonstrate that he’s investing in you, then he will definitely want to SHOW you, and that can include him willing and wanting to share is vital resources with you. Of course, that can mean money. Spending cash on you to show you that you mean something more to him. Caveat, some guys will always be the gentleman and will always pay because that’s just who they are. But if you’re with someone who is stingy and mean towards you, and what I mean by that, is that he isn’t generous with you in any way, then that would suggest that he isn’t into you enough to value spending his money on. I know that might sound crude and crass, but if isn’t willing to even share with you what he does have, or find creative ways to make you feel special, then really, you shouldn’t be with this guy. Period.
Sign #7: Has he told you it’s ‘not the right time for him for anything serious’?
Well, this one is self explanatory. He can like you, he can really care about you, but if he is at the time in his life where HE knows his time and energy is going to go elsewhere – like building a business or career – the he knows he cannot dedicate his time to you.
In this situation, only you can decide on whether you want to ‘wait’ until he might possibly be ready. It’s a risk only you can take and only you can decide to make a decision on. When you way up everything else as written above, as well as your age and what you’re wanting for yourself – for example, like do you want to start a family – then you have to consider ultimately what’s right for you.
I’m all about you getting into and having an incredible relationship with your Mr Right. And Your Mr Right wants the same as what you want, in the same time frame and most importantly, he wants them with you.
So, after having answered and explored the above questions then you’ll see much more clearly how much HE is into you regardless of how you might feel about him.
The thing is: when a guy is REALLY into you, there is absolutely no mistaking it.
HE will declare his desire for you openly both in words AND in action.
❤️ Invest in you – in time – both in person and connecting when that’s not possible face to face.
❤️ Invest in you – financially too.
❤️He will stop seeing other women.
❤️ He will tell you how he feels.
💝 HE will be moving the relationship forward – showing you that you mean something special to him. 💕🌈
If he isn’t doing that, then sorry to say, you mean little to him.
A man will invest into a woman he loves and cares for. Period.
If you’re a single women who wants to finally Attract & Keep Your Mr Right, then click the link to book a ‘Fearless Love Call’ with me now.