If you’re looking for online relationship advice, then you’re in the right place.
How can you be in a relationship with a guy, like him so much, so intensely, so passionately, and feel bad about yourself at the same time? Want to know the answer? Then continue reading this online relationship advice for women who are struggling in their love life.
My name is Andrea and I’m the Fearless Love Coach for single women looking for love and I offer online relationship advice and dating tips for women. One of my ladies came to me with the question, wanting to know; “How could you like someone so much and feel bad at the same time”? She asked because she couldn’t understand how she could feel such intense desire for this one guy she was ‘seeing’, yet emotionally, she felt an absolute mess – filled with anxiety and insecurities. In fact, the more she saw him, the more she spiralled downwards into anxiety and her emotional and mental health suffered greatly.
You see, she was dating this guy for around three months or so and she had the most incredible over the top off the charts exciting, magic filled boombastic orgasmic sex! It just blew her mind! But at the same time, he said he wasn’t fully committed to her because he was seeing other women. She didn’t feel valued. She didn’t feel truly loved by him. She knew she wasn’t his one and only – that she wasn’t that special to him, despite his protestations claiming otherwise which is why she felt bad even though she liked him.
Interestingly, I notice similar scenarios – similar patterns of behaviour – with the majority of single women who come to see me, which is why I’m offering online relationship advice and dating tips for women so other women who might be in a similar situation can be helped too. What I’ve noticed is: is that there is always one guy floating in the background who hasn’t fully committed to you, and yet you, just like these women I suspect, feel an intense desire for this seemingly ‘unavailable man’, who makes you feel amazing sexually or even if you haven’t even slept with him yet, very connected to him, but emotionally provides you very little else other than a roller coaster ride of emotions.
“A woman cannot relax into a relationship with a man unless she feels safe with him”
A woman cannot feel safe with a man who is not fully committed to her. In those situations, she becomes emotionally unstable and oftentimes filled with anxiety, fear and emotional turmoil as she longs to be bonded with him for the long term.
Through the many years that I’ve been offering online relationship advice and dating tips for women, many of the women who come to me are feeling very confused in emotional terms and also suffer from low self-esteem and lacking in self worth. The common things I’ve found is that they’re really into a guy, but not just into him – it’s like they’re addicted to him and in many ways feel out of control with their emotions. To some, it can even be termed as a ‘toxic relationship’ of ‘Cocaine Love’.
Have you ever felt that way?
That there is a guy you just can’t get out of your head? It feels like he’s crack cocaine to you. Highly addictive, makes you feel a ridiculous momentary high and debilitating and destroying you both at the same time.
You may not know this but when you as a woman experience not just great sex, but orgasmic sex – when you actually have an orgasm when having sex with him, your body releases a chemical called oxytocin which emotionally bonds you to that guy! You can actually feel physical withdrawal symptoms when he’s not around you. When that happens, your feelings for him intensify. You might even believe it’s love that you’re feeling for him which is why this online relationship advice is so important to listen to for the sake of your own emotional health.
Seriously, that hormone is so powerful, so intoxicating, that it can make you think that you love him. It’s such an intense and overwhelming powerful feeling that even if he isn’t compatible with you in other ways (which I’ll talk to you about in a moment), then you’ll still feel very intensely attracted to him because your love drug has been switched on and you will see him as a ‘love dealer’; that he has pockets full of love that you want and ‘need’ and that you feel you must get solely from him and from him only.
This is the exact same situation that one of my clients was going through when we started coaching together, in fact, I’ve been through this myself in the past, so I know what the emotional rollercoaster can feel like, which is why I’m offering this online relationship advice.
So if you’re in one of those situations where you feel this intense attraction towards a guy and you don’t want to let him go either then here’s why. Listen to this bit of online relationship advice, because part of the reason why you don’t want to let him go is that you’re fixed on the idea that you want to have a future with him – in fact – it’s more than a want, in your mind it’s that you ‘must’ have a future with him and see yourself having a future with him and it’s a compelling exciting all consuming happy ever after future with him but because he isn’t fully committed to you, then it makes sense why you feel both good and bad at the same time.
Undoubtedly I bet you’ve asked him or certainly wish to ask him the question: “Where is this relationship going?”
That question is what I’ve found to be a typical question that my clients have asked the guy that they’re into. The reason why these women have asked that particular question, is because like you, you’re feeling unstable, you’re feeling insecure, you know that you’re not in a committed relationship and/or that this man is ‘unavailable’ to you in some way and you want to close that gap – which assumes that he’s the one in charge of the direction of the relationship which is why this online relationship advice is of such great value because I’m here to tell you something else.
What you might be failing or struggling to see, is that you have the power within you to navigate how successful or where the relationship can lead or is going but you cannot see that when you believe that he is the one who has all the control and power.
You see, what I’ve discovered after years of giving online relationship advice, is that women in these types of ‘not fully committed’ relationships are not feeling safe because when you’re in a committed relationship -when you’ve had ‘The Talk’, when something obvious and substantial has clearly been put on the table and he has declared AND acted upon his intentions towards you, then you as the woman will feel safe and secure with him. When that isn’t happening, you can become confused, you can feel upset, you might then start to call your girlfriends more frequently feeling a need to talk through your ‘situation’ with them; you might start talking more with him wanting to know where you stand; some of you might be getting angry about it or even more anxious. You might be feeling very emotionally off balance. As you result, some of you might even shut down and close yourself off and not even venture into having any discussion with him.
I’ll go more into why in part 2….