So you’ve been dumped. When you’re the one that’s been dumped BUT you still have intense feelings for your ex, you may still believe that you want to remain ‘friends’ with them. However, it can be painful for you in the beginning to do this because you’re still going to be very emotionally attached to your ex whether you care to admit this to yourself or not.
You know Real love. True deep meaningful love doesn’t just die overnight because you’ve broken up. In fact – you’re more likely to desire the other person even more now that you can’t ‘have them’ even if you’ve felt betrayed by them. You see, the opposite of love isn’t hate. The opposite of love is indifference.
So what do you do to give yourself that chance to heal when your heart is broken and you’re feeling rejected but you also Know deep down that you don’t really want to (or are not even ready to) lose all contact with that person altogether, but the pain of seeing them online triggers you too much or becomes too much for you to bear?
You hit the snooze button.
Facebook has been testing this new feature since September 2017, and has now fully rolled it out.
The option to remain friends but to unfollow or unfriend them has been around for a while but to banish them from your newsfeed forever might not be what you feel you want to do.
Because some of you won’t want your ex to know how you really feel – of how much you’re hurting or how much they’re still affecting you. A way some of you do that is by ‘playing it cool’ or acting indifferent – helping you to feel in control and rebalance the perceived loss of power and save face after being rejected.
What that masks is that deep down some of you will be fearing losing that connection with your ex forever. Perhaps even fearing that you’ll upset them in some way by cutting them off. I understand because you’re not ready to let go of them fully yet. Even going to lengths of secretly spying on them and their activities to keep that connection alive. Perhaps in the hope of rekindling that love or even also fearing not wanting to feel the pain of that separation or emptiness or aloneness inside.
So in the interim, the ‘kinder’ option for you is to snooze them on Facebook for 30 days. What does that actually mean? It means you’ll temporarily unfollow them for 30 days but they’ll be non the wiser and you’ll have some time out without the constant reminders, especially if they’ve found a new love.
No one is saying 30 days is enough to move on from your ex. In fact, it’s Highly unlikely that that would happen when you’ve felt a deep connection and love and you thought they were going to be your one and only forever love.
However, at least with this cunning new feature, you’ll be able to take an emotional break from seeing them without having to go to the extremes of unfriending them and severing that connection entirely, which can create even more emotional drama as you may also not want to cut ties with the friendships you’ve made through your ex.
Or if you’ve unfollowed your ex, consequentially making you feel a little weird or awkward inside when inevitably your ex will pop up on the friend’s timeline.
Furthermore, snoozing your ex saves you the embarrassment of trying to friend request them in the future if in haste and out of anger you unfriended or even blocked them.
After the 30 days are up, you will be reconnected again like nothing has ever happened. Don’t you wish you had this snooze option in real life with your partner?!